Shards of Memory
by Obsidian3
Summary: What do you do if your entire life is erased, someone is trying to kill you, and the ones trying to keep you safe scare you even more? Post "For a Few Demons More".
1. Chapter 1

Title: Shards of Memory

Pairing: Ivy/Rachel

Rating: PG-13 so far, may go up later.

Disclaimer: Not being Kim Harrison, I don't own them.

Summary: What do you do if your entire life is erased, someone is trying to kill you, and the ones trying to keep you safe scare you even more? Post "For a Few Demons More".

* * *

Ow.

It was the first coherent thought that entered my head, managing to sneak its way past the blinding headache that kept me from opening my eyes. Dimly, I was aware of something cold and hard underneath me, feeling rough and abrasive. I tried to force my eyes open anyway, to try and get some idea of where I was.

Mistake.

I hurriedly shut them again as the pain spiked upward to crippling levels, not even really noticing the faint whimper escaping from my throat. Eventually, it became vaguely tolerable again. I kept waiting, though, until I managed to work up enough courage to try again, far slower this time.

What a letdown. All I could see was gray and black. At first I thought something was wrong with my eyes, but no, that was really all there was. Concrete, or asphalt, or something like that. Couldn't quite tell. It was blackened in places, as if it had been... Had been... I poked my sluggish brain with a stick. Burned, that was it. Melted, even, in a couple of spots. At least, it was in my line of vision, which, given that I was sprawled face down with my head tilted to the right, didn't cover a lot of... wherever the hell I was. I tried to push myself up, to take a look around.

Mistake number two.

It seemed whatever was wrong with me was not limited to just my head. My entire body screamed at me that no, I would **not** be moving anywhere anytime soon.

_What the hell happened? _

I honestly had no idea, and if the pounding headache I had wasn't making it so damned hard to think, that probably would have upset me a lot more then it did. Gradually, the whole-body agony faded to several specific sources of pain, which was... sort of good news, I guess. At least there were parts of me that _weren't _trying to melt my brain.

Somewhere off in the distance, I could just barely hear a voice calling someone's name. I couldn't quite make it out, and frankly, I wasn't feeling inclined to care. I did have my own problems to deal with, after all.

_Where _am _I, anyway? _

Another good question. Hopefully, I'd start coming up with good answers sometime soon, because this was getting frustrating.

I heard the voice again, closer this time. A woman's voice, and not one that I recognized, calling for somebody named... Rachel?

_Still not caring. _

I chanced another movement. Okay, my right arm felt a bit sore, but otherwise all right. My left, though, wasn't quite responding the way I wanted it to, and an attempt to move it properly resulted in it telling me, quite clearly, that it was being dipped in molten lead.

_Okay, note to self: Don't do that again. _

My legs... Well, they were still there. I levered myself up on one arm to get a look at them, and through the grime-streaked red curtain that fell across my eyes, I could see they were bruised and singed.

Better not to chance trying to move just yet, I decided. I lowered myself back to the pavement - and I _still _couldn't quite tell where I was - as my arm began trembling. Well, getting out of here would prove to be... interesting.

"Rachel!"

I was really beginning to wish this Rachel person would just answer whoever that was, if only so she'd shut up and stop distracting me. Didn't I have enough to deal with, already?

I shifted position, accidentally jarring my left arm in the process. I couldn't quite choke down the resulting cry of pain entirely, and I could feel something wet sliding down my cheeks.

Because of that, I almost missed what happened next. That voice cried out "Rachel!" again, only this time it was a lot more excited. Evidently she'd found her. Well great, whoop-de-freaking-doo. Huzzah for Rachel. It wasn't like I couldn't use some help myself.

Then there was... someone there.

I didn't have a clue where she'd come from. It was like she just... appeared. I flinched at the sudden movement out of the corner of my eye, and made a pained noise as my body informed me that it hated me.

"Sorry," the woman apologized, which was nice of her, I guess. She sounded like she meant it, anyway. Actually looking at her to find out, though, was out of the question. That would require far too many movements. I grunted out something unintelligible, which she seemed to take as an acceptance. "Rachel, what _happened_?"

_Wait a minute... _"Are you talking to **me**?" I was stunned at how quiet and raspy my voice was.

Judging by her reaction, so was she. After an uncertain silence - and don't ask me how silence can sound uncertain, but it did - she replied, "Yes. Are you feeling all right?"

That made me want to sit up, if only so I could swat her. "Are you... kidding?"

"I don't mean physically," she 'clarified'.

"I don't know." I coughed harshly, which my throat did not appreciate. "Shouldn't you be trying to help that Rachel person you were looking for?"

I seemed to surprise her again, though I couldn't figure out why. "I am," she said, which was just ridiculous. My name wasn't Rachel. It was... It was...

_Hmm. New Problem. _

Suddenly she was in front of me, kneeling down. I couldn't quite pinpoint just what the name of the brown material she was wearing was, but it looked good on her. I got the feeling, though, that just about anything would look good on _this _woman. "Do you recognize me?" she asked, sounding worried.

I frowned. "Why would I?" The pain in my head had become a dull throbbing, and it was getting hard to keep my eyes open.

"Rachel, look at me!" the woman begged, sounding well and truly panicked now.

I still didn't get why, and couldn't quite manage to care. I was just so tired, and hurt, and confused, and all I wanted to do was go to sleep.

"Rachel!"

_So tired... _

The woman was talking to someone else, still upset, but her voice had become incomprehensible to me, and darkness fell over me like a blanket. 

* * *

_beep, beep, beep _

Voices. They were the first thing I noticed upon waking up. The second was a gratifying lack of pain. I wasn't awake enough to feel like moving around yet, but I appreciated having the option.

Gradually, the voices became clearer. "...telling you, she didn't even recognize her own name, let alone me." Oh, hey, it was... that woman, again.

"She took a pretty good blow to the head," another voice replied. Male, this time. "Concussions can be nasty, Ivy." Ah ha! The mystery woman finally had a name. I felt vaguely smug for all of one second, until I realized I hadn't actually _done _anything.

"Tell me something I don't know," Ivy shot back harshly. There was something in her voice, an old pain of some kind, that I didn't like, and I felt the strangest impulse to go to her and give her a hug.

Fortunately, my brain chose that moment to remind me that I had _not _been in good shape before blacking out, and that even trying to go anywhere would be a _spectacularly _bad idea.

"This is different, Glenn," Ivy continued, giving me a name for the other person in the room. Wherever the room itself was. "She's-"

"She's awake," a new, higher-pitched voice broke in. No one asked how he could tell, which was annoying since **I** wanted to know. It wasn't like I'd moved at all. Only one way to find out, then. With some effort, I opened my eyes, wincing at the glare of the lights in the room.

Nope, still couldn't tell where I was now.

Whatever I was laying on wasn't terribly comfortable, but it wasn't exactly _uncomfortable_, either. It just... was.

I was distracted from my perusal of he room by the figures clustered at the side of the... thing. There was Mystery Woman Ivy, all right, along with Some Guy Named Glenn. Then something buzzed in front of my face, and I reflexively reached up to swat at it with a squawk of surprise.

It darted back, giving me a good look at it. Was that... Was that really a tiny little man with wings? Some kind of mutant bug, maybe? "Geez, Rache, nice to see you, too," the bug told me.

Holy crap, the bug talked!

I tried to reply, but my throat felt drier then... then... Well, then something really dry. (What was _wrong _with my head, anyway?) Apparently aware of this somehow, Ivy reached over and picked up a paper cup with ice chips in it, gingerly feeding me a few.

Once the blessedly cool water soothed my throat, I managed to summon up a weak smile. "Um, thanks," I told her softly.

"Not a problem," she assured me. There was a pause as she tried to figure out what to say next. Before she could, though, a brown-haired man in a white coat walked in.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Miss Morgan," White Coat said. "My name is Doctor Bartlett. How are you feeling?"

There was another, longer pause, and I frowned at him. "Are you talking to me?" I didn't like how uncertain my voice sounded, but there wasn't anything I could do about it.

"Yes." And didn't he look serious, all of a sudden? "What do you remember?"

"...about what?"

"How about what happened in that parking lot before we found you?" Glenn broke in from where he'd moved to the end of the... thing I was on.

"...parking lot?" What was he _talking _about?

"Yes, the parking lot. Damn it to the Turn, Morgan, do you know how _worried _people have been about you?"

"What's a turn?"

For some reason, that simple - well, **I** thought it was, anyway - question brought the conversation to a screeching halt. The mutant bug-man was so surprised that his wings actually stopped, sending him dropping down onto the... thing... next to my right leg with a tiny squeak. Everyone else just stared at me.

Geez, what had I said?

"I think I'd better bring in a neurologist," Doctor Bartlett muttered to himself, writing something on the square thing he was holding. "I'll be back shortly, Miss Morgan, don't go anywhere," he told me, then left the room.

"Where would I go?" I wondered aloud.

"With you, one can never tell," Ivy replied, giving me something that had probably supposed to have been a smile, but hadn't quite made it. "Glenn, you might want to go tell Edden about this."

By this point, I wasn't exactly surprised that I had no idea who she was talking about.

He nodded, looking worried. "Feel better soon, Rache," he said, patting my foot before following the doctor.

I honestly wasn't sure what to think. Either there was something very wrong with me... or I'd been kidnapped and these people were trying to get me to believe that they were my friends for... some unknown reason. And now that I'd thought of that, the idea wouldn't go away, no matter how ridiculous I told myself it was.

The bug-man was up in the air again, and since I didn't know how long we'd be left alone, I had to ask now. "Who are you people? _What _are you?"

"You really don't remember me- us at all, do you?" Ivy murmured, sounding like her heart was breaking. I didn't understand it.

"I don't remember... anything," I replied, and it was slowly starting to sink in just what that meant. I could feel the fear rising within me, even as something told me this was _not _a good time to allow that to happen. I couldn't quite stop it, though, and some reflex I didn't recognize made me look warily at Ivy.

Unlike me, she seemed to understand. "Don't worry, Rachel. Vampires take care of the sick and injured, we don't hunt them."

"Vam-" My voice choked off. She was a... _Holy crap! _

"My name is Ivy Tamwood," she continued, looking pained for some reason. "This is Jenks," she added, gesturing to the bug-man. "He's a pixie."

That meant nothing to me, but I nodded anyway. I didn't enjoy being the only one who had no idea what anyone was talking about.

Jenks landed on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Rache, we'll find out who did this to you," he said comfortingly. And despite how weird it was, I actually did feel a little better with him there. There wasn't any real reason for it, but I did kind of trust him. Them.

Kind of.

Naturally, Jenks picked that moment to take to the air again. "I'm going to go see what's keeping that doctor," he informed us before zooming out of the room.

Leaving me alone with the vampire. Common sense told me I'd be all right, that the door was still open, so even if she wanted to try something, it wouldn't be there and then. I'd be just fine as long as I didn't do anything to set her off.

So, naturally, once I realized it was just the two of us, I instantly panicked.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Shards of Memory

Pairing: Ivy/Rachel

Rating: PG-13 so far, may go up later.

Disclaimer: Not being Kim Harrison, I don't own them.

Summary: What do you do if your entire life is erased, someone is trying to kill you, and the ones trying to keep you safe scare you even more? Post "For a Few Demons More".

* * *

Imagine being able to remember almost nothing. You have no idea where you are, you have no idea _who _you are, and you have no idea what happened to you. Now imagine you're hurt badly enough to prevent you from going anywhere, or even defend yourself if you have to. You've just been informed that vampires and pixies (which, evidently, are some kind of mutant bug/human hybrid, and I wasn't sure I _wanted _to think about how **that** combination had come about) and who knows what else are real, and some of them claim to know you. Now imagine you've just been left alone with the vampire, and don't even know who to call for help if she tries anything.

I _dare _you to not start freaking out.

My breathing immediately picked up, and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I tried to edge away from Ivy as best I could. I know what she'd just said about vampires taking care of the sick and injured, but how was I supposed to believe that? I didn't even know this woman!

Ivy flinched, as if my actions were causing her physical pain. "Rachel, calm down, before you hurt yourself worse. I promise, I'm not going to do anything." She took a few steps away from the bed - ah ha! **That's** what I was laying on! - as if to prove her point. "I could never stand to hurt you," she added, speaking so softly I'm not sure if I was actually meant to hear it.

That was just strange enough to distract me from my rising panic. "What, vampires don't like it when their food can't get away from them?" I asked, only half sarcastic.

She smiled, but even I could tell it was strained. "That's... not actually an issue." She paused as something evidently occurred to her. "Rachel," she asked slowly, "do you know what werewolves are?"

Where... whats? "Um..."

"How about banshees?"

"No."

"Trolls?"

"Huh?"

"Leprechauns?"

"...are you just making up words, now?"

Her lips twitched again, but it looked more real, this time. "I'll take that as a 'no'." She paused again, then carefully asked, "What about witches?"

I frowned as I thought about it. "The word... sounds vaguely familiar, but it doesn't seem to be attached to anything," I finally replied.

"Then how is it that you know what a vampire is?"

I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it again with an audible click as I realized I had no idea. "I... I don't know. I just... do." I looked down, just then noticing that there were a bunch of somethings hanging around my neck. I considered getting rid of them until I knew what they were, but some instinct told me to leave them be. "You think someone did that on purpose? Why?"

She grimaced. "I suspect because they wanted you to distrust me, to make you want to stay away from me, so that they could get another shot at you."

"Or maybe vampires were involved in... whatever happened to me," I countered, not quite ready to believe everything this Ivy told me just yet.

"Perhaps," she allowed. "But vampires can't do magic, and that's the only thing that could have affected your memory like this. They probably left you with just enough information about vampires to want to stay away from us, because they knew I'd die before I let anything else happen to you." She blinked, then looked away, and I could swear she was blushing. I got the feeling she hadn't meant to say that.

Naturally, this aroused my curiosity. "Why?" From the little I _did _know of vampires, that didn't make a bit of sense.

For a long moment, she kept studying the wall, obviously not wanting to answer. She must have felt the weight of my stare and realized I wasn't about to drop the subject, though, because she looked back at me and gave me a small smile. "You're my best friend, Rachel."

The really strange thing? I believed her.

Her reactions suggested there might be more to it then that, but then, I was hurt and still a bit foggy, I didn't know enough about how she normally acted to compare to how she was acting now, and she might also be stressed about what had happened to me.

I know I certainly was.

"Uh, thanks, I guess," I said uncertainly. That probably could have been said a bit more nicely, but I think under the circumstances, I could be forgiven. "So..."

"So?"

Did I really want to ask this? "So... That Jenks guy is a pixie, and you're a vampire, which makes me...?"

Apparently, I did.

"You're a witch," she told me. She had that look on her face again, the one that said if she was another person, she might be crying now. Wow, she must have _really _hated to see me like this.

Maybe we really were that good of friends.

"Which means what?" I asked, gesturing with my good hand towards the seat I could see near the bed, hoping she would take that as an apology for my earlier freakout.

The way her eyes softened told me that she understood exactly what I was trying to tell her, and she moved to the chair. She was still careful not to get _too _close, I noticed. Considering that I was still not entirely convinced she was who she said she was, I appreciated that. She began filling me in on the basics of many of the various "Inderland" races, leading to the most surreal conversation I could remember ever having.

Which, admittedly, was hardly a challenge.

She'd just gotten to trying to explain the difference between living and undead vampires - which was something that my fractured memories did **not** cover - when Jenks finally returned, the doctor in tow. "All right, Miss Morgan, we're going to take you to get that arm X-rayed now, after which you're scheduled for an MRI."

"Um... right."

"Tink's knickers!" Jenks exploded. "Did you really think she was going to understand any of that? You'd be better off getting another witch in here to look at her. You don't really think all this is because she hit her head, do you?"

"We'll know more after the tests are complete," Doctor Bartlett said, which was almost an answer.

I sighed, getting the feeling that I was not particularly going to enjoy this. 

* * *

Long story short? I was right.

Over the next several hours, I was X-Rayed, MRI'd, poked and prodded by someone claiming to be a witch (which felt _**SO **_strange in ways I can't even convey), I talked to psychiatrists, police officers (well, FIB officers, anyway; Ivy had mentioned something about an IS, though she'd been reluctant to go into any details beyond the fact that they didn't like me because I used to work for them, but quit for some unspecified reason), doctors, nurses, and they'd come to a stunning realization: something had happened earlier that night to erase most of my memory.

For a minute, I seriously thought Ivy was going to go for the doctor's throat when he told us that. I'm not sure if I would have tried to stop her, or cheered her on, honestly.

He also explained (after looking rather nervously at Ivy) that my arm was, in fact, broken, and I did have a minor concussion. I also had a whole lot of bruises, scrapes, and minor burns, and everyone from the FIB to the hospital staff to even Ivy was at a loss to explain just what the hell could have happened to me that would result in all that.

The end result was that after I had a cast put on my arm (just my forearm, thankfully, so it wouldn't limit my mobility all that much), I was released. That was fine by me. After all, if they didn't have any tests left to run on me, didn't have a clue what was wrong with my memory (beyond the fact that it _wasn't there_), and couldn't recommend anything beyond bed rest and taking it easy for the next few days, there was really no reason I couldn't do that at home, was there?

Wherever 'home' was.

It took me a few minutes to work up the nerve to get into a car with Ivy - still kinda worked up vampire, enclosed space? Yeah, **that** sounded like a good idea - though she was nothing but patient and understanding. It actually helped a bit that Jenks was there as well... though if you tell anyone that I felt better because a pixie was there, I'll totally deny it.

The drive home was... odd. It was like Ivy had to keep reminding herself that she wanted to drive safely and not exceed the posted speed limit. (Yeah, even I could manage to figure those signs out without any help.) Part of me wondered what she was normally like behind the wheel.

The rest of me? Did _not _want to know.

I kept my gaze fixed firmly out the window as we drove, and it wasn't just so I had an excuse to try and ignore Ivy. I studied the people and buildings we drove past, hoping to see _anything _that looked familiar.

I didn't.

There really aren't any words for how scary that is, recognizing absolutely **nothing**. I almost wanted to go back to the hospital, if only because I knew I'd been there already. To try and distract myself from the growing urge to curl up into a ball and hide somewhere, I decided a few more questions were in order. "So," I began, noticing Ivy start in surprise out of the corner of my eyes as I broke the silence in the car. "Home is... where, exactly?"

_That _ended up being a weird conversation. Supposedly, we - and yes, from what they said, we did all live together, which just seemed very... convenient - lived in what had once been an old church. This, naturally, lead to an explanation of just what a church was, with a minor digression into the subject of religion, before explaining just _why _any of us would want to live in such a place.

This, of course, meant Ivy had to finish explaining about undead vampires, and also tell me about demons, and why some of them _really _didn't like me.

My head was spinning by the time she finished - I barely noticed Jenks' interjections - and I noticed we were there. I had no idea when we'd stopped, but she'd even shut off the car, so I guessed it had been several minutes, at least.

The 'church' itself looked to be an old stone building, which we evidently ran a "runner's service" out of. Blessedly, Ivy cut the conversation off there, saying we could talk more after we'd gotten some rest. She lead me inside, at which point we were swarmed by more pixies then I could count.

I took a nervous step back, hands half raised in front of me, though I naturally had no idea how I would have defended myself from them, if it had been necessary. These, it turned out, were Jenks' kids, and clearly he and the missus had been... busy. Well, it was nice to see that they had such a loving relationship. It also argued strongly in favor of he and Ivy being who they said they were. Nobody evil could have a wife who loved him enough to have _that _many kids, right?

They kept buzzing about me even as we took a quick little tour of the former church, giving me names for the various rooms: living room, kitchen, sanctuary, and so on. Their chirping dialogue reached a fever pitch in the hallway that had our bedrooms, sending a fresh spike of pain through my head.

Ivy, thankfully, managed to extricate me from the pixie horde, saying she needed to help get me ready for bed. Despite the embarrassment of _needing _help, I didn't argue with her. The day was catching up with me, and I was so tired I could barely see straight.

While Jenks and his wife - a perfectly charming lady named Matalina - corralled their children, Ivy lead me into what she called a 'bathroom'. She disappeared for a while, giving me a minute to look around - even this didn't look familiar, nor had anything else they'd shown me, making me want to cry - before returning with a change of clothing. The hospital had done a good job of cleaning me off, so I didn't need a shower - which was good, because I wasn't sure how I was supposed to keep my cast dry like they told me I had to, since from what I could figure out, the shower featured water pretty heavily - but I obviously couldn't sleep in what I was wearing.

Ivy helping me undress was... Yeah. Her cheeks seemed a bit redder then usual, and she was avoiding looking at me whenever she could avoid it. It was also clear that she was _not _happy about my injuries. Well, there was something we had in common, at least. Since I couldn't see it myself, she looked at my back for me - I was still wearing something she called a 'bra', at least, but this still felt... odd. "You must have been slammed into something pretty hard," she said softly. "This is going to be a gorgeous bruise by this time tomorrow." She gently trailed her fingers over my lower back, and I couldn't stop a shiver as - I swear to that God person she'd mentioned earlier - I felt a jolt of of electricity shoot up from where she was touching me right into my brain.

Naturally, she noticed. "I'm not going to hurt you," she said, voice barely above a whisper.

"I know," I replied, just as quiet. Of course, that lead to the natural question: if it wasn't fear, what _had _that been?

Frankly, I was just too damned tired to figure it out. I finished pulling on the oversized nightshirt she'd gotten me - she did, at least, let me change my underwear and get rid of my bra by myself - and staggered out into the hallway, heading for one of the bedrooms. She must have been picking up my dirty clothes, because I actually managed to get inside one before she noticed where I'd gone. "Um, Rachel..."

I was really, _really _too tired for this. Or anything, really. "Ivy, please, I just... I just need some sleep."

"I know, but-"

"I'll see you in the morning," I told her, managing a smile - really, I wasn't blind to how nice she'd been about everything - before I shut the door. It was rather dark in there, so I decided I'd look around tomorrow, and carefully felt my way to where I'd seen the bed. The last thing I needed was to injure myself even worse.

I didn't hear Ivy leave, but she must have, so I just chalked it up to vampire stealth and forgot about it. I took a deep breath and... Wait. I sniffed again. No, I wasn't imagining it.

The room smelled... familiar.

Finally, something I recognized! Even if it _was _just on a subconscious level, I **knew** that smell. I reached the bed, and slid inbetween the sheets. They were _really _soft - I'd later learn the material was something called satin - and the smell was even stronger here. This, more then anything else, seemed to prove that Ivy and Jenks _had _been telling me the truth.

And more then that, being surrounded by that smell somehow made me feel so... safe. Like nothing could possibly hurt me, as long as it was around.

It was enough to let me get to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Shards of Memory

Pairing: Ivy/Rachel

Rating: Honestly, I don't know how we hit 'M' so quickly...

Disclaimer: Not being Kim Harrison, I don't own them.

Summary: What do you do if your entire life is erased, someone is trying to kill you, and the ones trying to keep you safe scare you even more? Post "For a Few Demons More". 

* * *

It would have been nice if I'd been able to remember something - anything - about my attack in my dreams. Naturally, I wasn't so lucky.

Anything that might have been at all related - flashes of pain, someone laughing, screams of agony - were so blurred and muted that I couldn't pick out any details. I doubt my mild concussion was helping there. Not that I was really in any kind of state to look, as scared as I was. There was also running, though where to and from what I had no idea. Just that I had to get away.

I had the sneaking suspicion that I was in for a lot of those.

After that, though, things... shifted.

My brain must have decided that I needed a break or something, because the next thing I knew, I was back in the church. Seated in a gray chair in the living room - only one of the table lamps was on, giving the room an appropriately dreamlike lack of distinction around the edges - holding a white box with something that smelled rather appetizing in it, I had little on beyond a fluffy black robe. I wasn't sure what was going on, exactly, but at least there wasn't anything for me to be afraid of here.

"I was born a vampire," a soft voice told me.

Whoops. Spoke too soon.

There lounged Ivy, similarly attired. "Both of my parents were vampires," she continued, and I honestly had no idea where this was going... though I suspected I wouldn't like the answer. "I was conceived and born before my mother became a true undead. Do you know what that means - Rachel?"

"Yes. We went over it in the car." It was one of the few things I _was _sure of. "Ivy, what's going on?"

"Now, now, that's not the way this happened, and you know it," Ivy admonished, not taking her eyes from mine. Slowly - oh, so very slowly, she lowered her feet to the floor and leaned closer. "I suppose I can understand you not wanting to deal with that now, though. Bigger fish to fry, right?"

"Um, right." _What _was she going on about?

"I didn't tell you everything, though. Do you want to know the best part?" she asked.

Did I? If it had to do with Ivy and her nature - which I was basically counting on to keep me alive at least until I could remember how to protect myself - I supposed I might just have to. "Um, o-okay."

Her eyes grew fervent. Torso unmoving, she levered one of her knees up onto the coffee table, and then the other. _Oh. Um... Well. _She was coming at me. I decided I should probably do something about that, stop her, move, something. And I would.

Any second.

Really.

"Living vamps can bespell people - if they want to be," she whispered. The softness of her voice rubbed against my skin until it tingled.

_Un. Good. _"What good is it if it only works on those who let you?" I asked, my voice harsh next to the liquid essence of her.

Ivy's lips parted to show the tips of her teeth. I couldn't look away. I wasn't sure I even wanted to. "It makes for great sex - Rachel."

"Oh." That was all I could manage. Not that she might have noticed anything more. Her eyes were lost in... lust? For me?

Wow. I had **NO** idea how to react to that.

"And I've got my mother's taste for blood," she said kneeling on the table between us. "It's like some people's craving for sugar. It's not a good comparison but it's the best I can do unless you... try it. But you know that."

I did? Was that why I wasn't even trying to get her to stop?

Ivy exhaled, moving her entire body. Her breath sent a shock reverberating through me. My eyes went wide in surprise and bewilderment as I recognized it as desire. Was that supposed to happen? I was under the impression that relationships tended to happen between men and women. So why did I suddenly want to know how soft her hair was?

I'm not sure if I blinked and missed it or what, but suddenly Ivy was on top of me. "I'll never hurt you, Rachel," she whispered into my ear, and I couldn't do anything to stop the shudder this time. "You're everything to me."

I pulled back to look her in the eyes. Or rather, the pupils, since her eyes had gone entirely black. That should have scared me, but somehow, it didn't. The trust and utter devotion on her face, shining down at me, made that impossible. I felt all warm and gooey inside, and having her on top of me was only exciting me. Which, yeah, was weird, but I suddenly didn't care. "Ivy..." The whisper was barely audible, but I knew she would have heard it from across the room, let alone the few inches that separated us.

Inches that were shrinking by the second as she leaned down, closer and closer. Dimly, it occurred to me that she was about to kiss me, and I was doing nothing to stop her. That just seemed like a silly idea anyway. I mean, sex goddess in your lap, why would you say no?

Well, okay, maybe if she went for my neck or something... But she wasn't. She was close enough for me to feel her breath on my lips...

And a sudden slam woke me up with a start.

Oh, now that was just _not fair! _Just when things were getting good...

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

Wait a minute. Was that...?

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked again. Sure enough, there was Ivy, standing near one of the... the, um... Ah! one of the bureaus, a drawer pulled halfway out. I was swiftly distracted, however, by the realization that she was wearing a fairly thin nightgown - sure, _that _term I remember right away - that stopped at mid-thigh... and nothing else.

_Oh, God... _

That was even more unfair. How could I be expected to go from a dream where we almost... to her standing there looking like _that, _without reacting?

I couldn't, obviously. "What are you doing in here?" I was embarrassed by the way my voice went all high and squeaky when I asked, but she didn't seem to notice. Maybe she was used to getting odd reactions from me.

"I needed to get some clothes."

I almost asked why she did wake me up, then - vampires were supposed to be all kinds of stealthy, weren't they? - but that question was pre-empted by the implications of her statement. "This is... Oh, God. I am so sorry! I swear, I honestly thought..."

"It's okay," she assured me. "I do have a fairly comfortable couch."

"You could have taken my bed." Even as I spoke, I slid out of hers, glad it wasn't too chilly inside the church. "I wouldn't have minded, really."

She smiled, but there was a slight edge of strain to it. "I know. But I was worked up enough without having to deal with our scents mixing. That's..."

I looked quickly at her bed, then back at her. "Oh... Damn it, I'm sorry, I-"

"Rachel, it's okay," she told me, strain fading somewhat. "I know what kind of shape you were in last night. I can wash them easily enough later, it's no big deal."

"Still..." I frowned. "This is _really _your room?"

"Yes." Her smile shifted into a look of confusion. "Why?"

"Because... Well, you may think I'm crazy, but it smells familiar."

She blinked. "What?"

"The scent in here... It's the _only _thing I've recognized since coming home from the hospital." But if this was her room... I walked closer and sniffed her. "It's you!"

"How can you tell...?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure of it, now. Being in here, surrounded by that, I felt so safe and protected..." I wasn't sure I should have been telling her all this, but my mouth seemed sometimes disinclined to pay much attention to my brain. And I was standing right next to Ivy. And her hair. Still keyed up from the dream, I didn't even think before I reached out to run my hand through it.

Ivy, who had looked somewhere between surprised and touched by my admission, now froze. "Rachel?" she asked carefully. "What are you doing?"

"Not sure," I murmured, enjoying the silky feeling of her hair. Had I never done this before? She wasn't acting like I had, which just seemed odd. "I remember wanting to know how soft it was."

She reached up and stilled my hand... though she didn't remove it. "You remembered something?"

"I had a dream. We were in the living room, eating... You were telling me about yourself... I don't think it ended right, though."

She winced delicately. "No, not exactly."

"I mean, it wasn't the same." I could more or less remember what had _actually _happened, and while certainly a good thing, I was a little embarrassed at how easily I'd let my fear of Ivy derail the evening. Not that it hadn't been largely her fault as well, but still...

"Ah. Well, you may not recall it, yet, but I gave you something the next morning." She gave me a book which I took with my free hand. "It was written as a, well, dating guide, but I gave it to you so you'd know what not to do." My left hand was still playing with her hair, and she didn't quite seem to know what to do about it.

"Okay. Thanks." I absently tossed the book onto her bed, not taking my eyes from hers.

"Rachel," she began, but then she just trailed off.

"Was that the only time?" Rachel, what are you doing? Why are you having eye-sex with the vampire?

"What are you talking about?"

"That night. Was that the only time we almost..." Seriously, Morgan, stop it. _Vampire. _If you keep this up, she's going to eat you. And not in the fun way.

Whatever that was.

Her eyes were going all dark again, but she didn't scare me. It was odd. Standing here alone with her, about as vulnerable as I could get, and she scared me less now then she did when I was in a hospital bed, surrounded by other people. "Almost...?"

She had to smell how I felt. "We almost..." I breathed, just managing not to start trembling. Just two more little inches...

She abruptly withdrew, removing my hand from her hair with surprising ease. "You need to reread that book," she told me huskily, not quite managing to keep the sensuality from her movements. "And I need to take a shower." Then, under her breath, she muttered, "A cold shower."

"You know, that's getting really annoying," I told her.

She paused next to the door, confused. "What is?"

My brain told my mouth to just shut up and let her go, saying that this was not the time for this sort of thing, but my mouth thought otherwise. My groin agreed with my mouth wholeheartedly. "First in the dream, now again... If you're want to kiss me, then just kiss me, already."

The wide-eyed look of shock on Ivy's face was absolutely priceless.

I'm not sure what surprised her more, my demand or the admission that I'd been dreaming about kissing her. I gave her a little shrug. "I told you it didn't go the same way."

"Obviously not," she replied faintly.

Feeling a sudden surge of boldness, I walked over to her, pushing her against the door. Resting my hands on her side, I looked her right in the eyes. "Are we together, Ivy? Is there something more that... I don't know what I feel for you, but I know it's something. Something huge and real, and..."

"Rachel..."

"In the dream, you told me I meant everything to you. Is that true?" I pressed. And here she could have easily reminded me that it had only been a dream, and mine, rather then hers.

Instead, barely audible, she whispered, "Yes."

I kissed her.

_Oh, **God... **_If we seriously never had done this before, I was going to hurt myself severely for it. Somehow, I just _knew _that even if I did have my memory, this kiss would put all others previous to shame. It took Ivy a second to get over her shock to respond, but when she did...

Ivy didn't kiss me so much as she made love to my mouth. My hands drifted back up to her hair, while hers rested on my back. My breathing picked up, and I pulled her closer, kissing her with an increasing intensity. My neck was starting to tingle for some reason, but I paid it no attention.

Really, I had so much _better _things to focus on.

Ivy pushed away from the door, shifting her grip to my thighs and scooping me up. I helpfully wrapped my legs around her waist, breaking the heavenly kiss only because of a pesky little need for oxygen. Damned lungs, I decided. Ivy, standing near the edge of her bed, seemed to shake herself partway back to reality. "Rachel, wait. You need to-"

Whatever she was about to say, I was fairly certain that no, I didn't need to do it. I moved my mouth to her neck, sucking at a point just above her jugular. Ivy let out a guttural moan and her knees buckled, resulting in both of us crashing to the bed. Apparently, Ivy _really _liked that.

I filed that little fact away, certain it would prove all kinds of helpful... and fun.

I rolled her over until I was straddling her and took in her smoldering expression without flinching. "We've never done this before?"

It took her a moment to scrape together enough coherence to respond. "No. Rachel-"

"Why the hell not?"

She gave me an odd look. "You didn't want to."

That threw me. "I... Are you sure?"

"Yes. Believe me, yes, I am." She sighed. "Rachel, we can't do this. Until your memory comes back-"

"I am still me, though, right? Inside?"

"Yes, but I know you don't remember-"

"Ivy," I interrupted... again. "I may not remember names, dates, faces... But I still _feel _the same. Even in the hospital, I trusted you and Jenks. Now, I don't know why I might have said we couldn't be together before, and frankly? I won't care if I never remember _that._" I leaned down and kissed her again, pouring every ounce of heat and passion that I was feeling into it. She looked a bit dizzy when I pulled back. I know I was. "You make me feel safe, and loved," I whispered to her. "Teach me how to love you."

Tears were slowly streaking down Ivy's cheeks, and she looked so scared, nervous... and hopeful. She'd been wanting to hear me say that, I realized. Wanting it badly, and for quite some time, now. She searched my eyes, as if to determine whether or not I meant it. Since I did, I just smiled down at her tenderly. Eventually, she smiled back, a radiant smile that I instantly decided I needed to see more of, as often as possible. "I will," she promised.

She eased me back into a sitting position, pulling my nightshirt up over my head and tossing it aside, taking some time to just look at me. "So lovely," she murmured. "Even with the bruises."

Bruises? What bruises? I wasn't feeling any bruises. I wasn't feeling anything but a delicious fire beneath my skin wherever Ivy was touching me. Her own clothing - meager as it was - swiftly followed suit, and all I could do was stare at her body in amazement. And she thought I looked good? "You're so beautiful," I told her, feeling a brief - and puzzling - urge to cry myself. I pushed it aside, and went back to drinking in the sight of a naked Ivy Tamwood.

Ivy blushed, then let her hands begin to wander across my body. I couldn't stop the slight moans and whimpers her touch elicited, but a quiet little pulse from my neck made me not care in the slightest. Besides, how could I be embarrassed by the touch of someone who so obviously loved me the way Ivy did? Feather-light kisses ghosted across my breasts before Ivy's lips found one of my nipples. That made me moan loudly, and I didn't care in the slightest. She lifted my hands to her own body, encouraging me to explore.

It wasn't rushed. The touching and caressing went on for longer then I could keep track of - though that wasn't the biggest challenge in the world, right then - before she laid me down on the bed and began kissing her way down my body. I quivered when she finally reached the apex of my legs, but even then she took her time, determined to show me how to do this _right. _When her tongue first flicked out, I nearly bucked off the bed.

I wasn't really surprised that Ivy proved to be as good at this as she was at kissing. Clearly, she was an expert in all things related that required the use of her mouth. The fingers that she slid up inside me nearly sent me over the edge, and when she began pumping them in and out - with her mouth still busy down there as well - I honestly wasn't sure how much longer I could hold on.

"May I have this?"

It took me a few seconds to even register the question, and a few more to decipher its meaning. By then, Ivy had also realized what she'd just asked, and froze. "I'm sorry, Rachel, I shouldn't have-"

"Yes."

"...what?"

"Yes. I want you to bite me."

"Rachel..."

"Ivy, _please..._"

She paused a few moments more, no doubt checking to make sure I really meant it.

I did.

Her fangs delicately pierced the skin near my groin, and I screamed as white-hot ecstasy surged through my veins. Every pull on the wound elicited a fresh shout of pleasure, and the fact that her fingers hadn't stopped meant that she sent me over the edge to an orgasm that made me nearly black out in short order. But she wasn't quite done with me, riding me through two more before she stopped.

By then, I was sprawled limply on the bed, not quite able to summon up the energy to do much more then lift my head. I did that, though, because I was just so amazed by what I was seeing.

One of the facts Ivy had mentioned last night about witches was our ability to see auras. I hadn't managed to actually do that before now, but I was amazed at the way ours were flowing together, blending into one another until I couldn't see any difference between them. It was as if we only had one aura between us, and I could swear I briefly heard a chiming sound somewhere. I had no idea if this was normal, but asking Ivy would have required more energy then I had. All I could do was cuddle up against her when she moved to lay down next to me, wrapping her arms around me and holding me close. I lay my head against her chest, knowing there was nowhere I would ever want to be more then where I was now. 

* * *

Okay, dammit, what the hell happened? This is NOT how chapter 3 was supposed to go! *glares at muse* [*muse looks back, unrepentant*] Oh, I see your little game. Wait until I get distracted by a new fandom, then sneak in here and rewrite the story on me! That won't always work, you know. You just got lucky this time.

[Not as lucky as Rachel just got.]

*sighs* Honestly, I don't know why I even try to have serious conversations with her, sometimes...


End file.
